Port Poetry

[Peter W. Meek]

Port is the wine dark
See! How it fogs the ev'ning;
Calms the mind and soul.

It still isn't quite right. The third line should point up a new way of looking at the idea expressed in the first two.

Maybe more like:

Port is the wine dark
See! It blazes in the glass.
Calms the mind and soul.

Still wrong; now it's three ways of looking at it. Dark; blazes; calms. Maybe: Dark & calms; turmoil.

Port is the calmer. (soother?)
It is the wine dark. See!
Blazing (Raging?) in the glass.

All I really wanted was to make a play on "wine-dark sea". [Homer] After reading the Wiki article on haiku, maybe the first version is best after all.

Anyone else have a port haiku? 5/7/5 syllables; express an idea or mood; then expand or point out a new viewpoint. There are some other rules which may or may not be followed in english-language haiku.

Thread your efforts by reply/quoting your own previous versions. Start new threads by simply replying.

If you're really ambitious, try a sonnet or sestina: more forms with elaborate rules. Following the rules while being creative is all the fun. (look up sestina on Wikipedia; it's really complicated)

If this is too off-topic for even Other Discussions, let me know, Roy.

[Eric Menchen]

Of the three, I prefer the first Peter.

This seems perfectly valid for Other Discussions to me.

[Andy Velebil]

If this is too off-topic for even Other Discussions, let me know, Roy.

Peter,
I'm not Roy, but this is exactly what O.D. is for. Some Port Poetry is always welcome

[Peter W. Meek]

OK, it's okay.

Now let's have some poetry. Given my bad example, no-one should hesitate to set some out to get some air.

BTW, don't hesitate to reconstruct my efforts. I may steal your ideas or reject them, but I won't dismiss them or complain about them.

[Glenn E.]

Sunset in a glass,
Or a gentle campfire's glow.
Port makes me happy!

[Peter W. Meek]

Very nice, Glenn.

It even has the "secret" word that implies a season: campfire. Almost required in traditional Japanese haiku, although not so much in modern.

[Roy Hersh]

Where is Stewart the poetry maestro? I would imagine he could find or create some real Port poetry!

Thanks Peter!

[Peter W. Meek]

From Laurie Howland - a port drinker, but not, how shall I say it, obsessed with port.

In response to by first effort Laurie offered this:


Savor lush port wine.
Smooth, dark, tawny elixir
Born to cross the sea.


(Note that she has included the phrase I built my haiku around: "wine-dark sea" as single words in each line)

[Peter W. Meek]

If anyone gets interested in writing sestinas, I have made an Excel template to assist. It allows entering the key words only at their first appearance and automatically copies the words to the other places where they repeat. I chose the commonest form of the sestina with a 3-line envoi with two of the key words in each line.

I can send a copy to anyone interested.

[Melanie R.]

Sweet dark velvet crush
Beautiful ruby lushness
I sip you and smile

[Peter W. Meek]

Very nice.

[Derek T.]

Peter, I have sent you a Private Message.