For The Love Of Port

OK, I've decided that I'm neither poor enough nor desperate enough to want to consume a full decanter of cloudy Australian prune juice.

But, waste not, want not...

- So, culinary (and other) suggestions please!

I will start with:

# 1) The wasteful option - pour it down the sink and sooth my conscience by putting the bottle into a recycling container (not that it's likely to be actually recycled - we live in an age of pointless gestures!)

- Other options please!

Tom

Take it to the old folks home and tell them it is the lastest and greatest prune juice...with a kick :twisted:

Tom,

If it has any life left to it at all you can:

1) Stir a few tablespoons into onion soup during the last half-hour of simmering;

2) Use it to baste a pork roast; put some garlic in the roasting pan and deglaze at the end with stock;

3) Get your Yuletide baking done early and use it to marinate your plum pudding for the next 7 months. Then practice in the mirror saying "It's supposed to taste like that" with a straight face. :)

Best of luck,

I love idea (2) from Tyler. I might try that at some point.

My two suggestions are (i) a traditional port reduction to accompany some good old red meat, or (ii) use some of the port to steep your Christmas mincemeat (each year in January we buy a few jars of reduced price mincemeat, empty a miniature of brandy into each jar and then reseal. Its darn good when you re-open it in December).

Alex

Tom,

Take it to the Austrailan Embassy in London and explain to them that this is why they should ban the use of the word Port by their wine-making industry. When you're finished with them, pour it into an empty South African Port bottle and do the same with them

Derek

If it's at all drinkable, try making a port reduction sauce out of it and drizzle a little over some salad or grilled meat.

1. Take it to the Bridge
2. Throw it overboard
3. See if it can swim
4. Back into the shore

Ooops - sorry, quoting Squeeze again.

After some unsuccessful gastronomic experimentation I have arrived at the most appropriate solution:

mus muris in cloaca ebrius est

Apologies if my latin is a little rusty...

Tom

Tom,

It's obviously not as rusty as mine!!!

Is this another thread where you are not allowed to use Google to work out the answer?

Derek

Derek,

allow me to help you...use a mirror, then stand on your head, wiggle your toes, and you will understand it
just kidding of course

Andy,

Just in case you weren't really joking (difficult to tell on the forum these days!) I tried this and now have my toe stuck in the air conditioning unit on the wall of my office.

The strange thing is that when I read Tom's message through the mirror it said "The Answer is 42" - can anyone tell me what the question was?

Derek

I seem to recall that 42 was the answer to everything in the Hitchhikers Guide - but not this time!

Yes, you may use Google!

Tom

Not bad Tom but not specific enough I'm afraid - whoever gives us the full question gets to set the next pointless conundrum 8)

Tried using Google and a number of translation sites and gave up when the first 2 words both came back as meaning "mouse" - I'm guessing your Latin phrase doesn't translate to "mouse mouse ......." so didn't see the point of searching for any of the other words.

Perhaps I should send the Latin text to Taylor Fladgate to see if any of Frank's decendants still speak in the language of their ancestors :?

Derek

Actually, it means rat

- carry on!

Tom

Tom,

Not sure about your translation of rat as everywhere I've looked comes back with mouse - anyway, whatever size it is I'm sure he knew that crap you poured down the sewer wasn't real port

Derek

PS: What does "est" mean - can't find it

OK, literal translation:

Rat(s) In Sewer Drunk Is (est means is)

Or 'The sewer rats are pissed'

i.e I poured it down the drain!

Tom