Port Jokes

This section is for those who have basics questions about, or are new to, Port. There are no "dumb" questions here - just those wanting to learn more!

Moderators: Glenn E., Roy Hersh, Andy Velebil

Post Reply
Scheiny S
Posts: 282
Joined: Tue Oct 06, 2015 12:09 pm
Location: Pittsburgh, PA, USA

Port Jokes

Post by Scheiny S »

There's a thread of songs that mention Port. Is there a thread of Port jokes?

Let's hear what you've got!
Scheiny S
Posts: 282
Joined: Tue Oct 06, 2015 12:09 pm
Location: Pittsburgh, PA, USA

Re: Port Jokes

Post by Scheiny S »

Eventually I want to get a photo of Port casks framed with the words "Pipe dreams".

I also want to get a print of the "This is not a pipe" painting with the pipe replaced by a bottle of Port.
User avatar
John M.
Posts: 2110
Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2009 2:15 pm
Location: Hunterdon County, New Jersey, USA

Re: Port Jokes

Post by John M. »

What's a Port Lover's favorite time?

Four to Five (fortified)
Any Port in a storm!
User avatar
Glenn E.
Posts: 8258
Joined: Wed Jan 23, 2008 10:49 am
Location: Sammamish, Washington, United States of America - USA
Contact:

Re: Port Jokes

Post by Glenn E. »

What does the moderator tell you when your first bottle is corked and you have to open your backup bottle?

You've been re-Port-ed.
Glenn Elliott
Mike J. W.
Posts: 1064
Joined: Fri Aug 26, 2016 7:55 pm
Location: In the middle of cornfields & cow pastures, PA

Re: Port Jokes

Post by Mike J. W. »

What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?

Port whine!
"I have often thought that the aim of Port is to give you a good and durable hangover, so that during the next day you should be reminded of the splendid occasion the night before." - Hungarian/British journalist & author George Mikes
Scheiny S
Posts: 282
Joined: Tue Oct 06, 2015 12:09 pm
Location: Pittsburgh, PA, USA

Re: Port Jokes

Post by Scheiny S »

if you decan't, does that mean you couldn't but now you can?
Phil W
Posts: 261
Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2011 4:54 am
Location: Cambridge, UK

Re: Port Jokes

Post by Phil W »

Don't mention the Warre! I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it!
Post Reply